Superballs + teenagers = Shenanigans

It has been a CRAZY couple of weeks...
I was talking with the other AP this weekend and both agree that our teachers have no idea what we deal with in our offices... so when they send us an email about wanting us to have a stern conversation with a kid who, in a physics lab using super balls, dropped one of said super balls from the top of the main stairwell all the way to the bottom... the teacher wanted me to address the kid... my response to the teacher was:   after you have a conversation with the kid about your concern of potentially hurting someone who was on the first floor, and the kid doesn't seem to recognize that someone could have been injured, to let me know and I will follow up... and p.s. teacher... why did you give the superballs to the students before going over your expectations of their behavior including safety risks.? ..  They are  teenagers after all... teenagers + superballs = shenanigans... (at least in most people's minds...) ... when I received that email I was in the midst of investigating a fight... our first of the year... which came on the heels of searching a student for weapons after seeing texts he had sent to people about doing harm to himself with a weapon, as well as searching another kid for possible drugs... which followed a day of investigating minors in possession of alcohol... oh and the day where we learned one student had been threatened by an adult who held a knife to her face, twice...and another shared a parent is shooting heroine in their basement... and having learned that a student drive drunk with other kids in the car... and learning about hazing and drug use by athletes...and bringing food in for kids who are currently couch surfing...and finding clothing and shoes for others....and coordinating with custodial staff to have them work with the kid who punched holes in our wall when he was angry, but feels so bad about it he wants to fix the holes himself...   So...the good news, I suppose, is that teachers take the issues that are happening in their classrooms seriously and want us to be aware of concerns... more good news is that our teachers are protected from knowing all of the details of things that are happening to our students that would maybe result in them losing some sleep... but I think that is about to change... The other AP and I decided that we are going to address the staff at the next meeting... thank them for the great job they are doing at handling things at the classroom level.  (They are doing a great job at this.. we have changed some of our expectations this year and teachers are on board and are dealing with things before automatically sending them to us... I believe that having teachers talk to kids about the behavioral concerns, when minor, helps the teacher build relationships with their students...)  And let them know that taking care of things at the classroom level allows us to focus on things like kids experiencing violence at home, seeing drugs being used at home, kids experimenting with or abusing substances, etc... and I think we will share some of the details with them... not to upset them or to tell them what it is we spend our days doing... but to help them have some empathy and compassion for kids in their classrooms... to try to have them talk with kids who are unfocused in class, disengaged, and who may miss a class or two... to understand where the kids are coming from... so that when that student arrives late to class, the teacher will offer a welcoming smile and will work with the kid to catch up instead of scowling and making non verbal accusations about kids being disrespectful and having no regard for the teacher's precious time... the truth is, these kids who have such crazy things happening outside of school... appreciate,  more than other kids, having a place where there is structure and predictability... even if it is a place where they sit and stare off into space trying to escape...
There are reasons for behaviors... that is something we are trying to get teachers to be more mindful of... and MOST teachers understand that kids are not intentionally being rude... but there are other teachers who see a kid in the hallway and immediately start making accusations about the kid skipping class and showing their level of authority over that kid... I hope our staff can get to the point where, when seeing a kid in the hallway can introduce themselves to the kid, ask the kids name, and ask if they are okay... if they need help... and coach the kid to go back to class or to go see someone who can offer support... instead of telling the kid they are gonna get detention for skipping class, say to the kid, let's go take a walk, let's go see your assistant principal, tell them what is going on so that they know you are not skipping class, but are needing some support...
Idealistic? Maybe... but what a difference that approach can make with kids...
I am guilty, with some kids, of jumping to conclusions... kids who are repeat offenders for being up to no good... and I apologize when I make that mistake... we have work to do... and that work is not just with academic content... that work involves showing our kids, teaching our kids, that adults are not out to get them, that we are there to help... while having clear expectations... (I am known as a bit of a hard ass with the kids, but they also know that I am only a hard ass when chances have been given and not taken... when kids make choices again and again that are not above the line...)  ... but I think the relationships kids have with adults can make or break some kids... those kids especially, who are dealing with so much crap outside of school...
I was so lucky... that home was a safe place to be... that I could trust my parents to keep us safe...and to stand up for us when needed... that there wasn't addictions or violence... That I was loved... unconditionally... that I had food and clothing... and was able to bathe and have clean clothes...

The media talks a lot about how education is changing... moving towards proficiency based grading systems... towards teacher salaries being based on student performance... about educators who work short days and have summers off.... I agree, education is changing.  More and more schools are responsible to raise our children... because so many of our kids come from highly dysfunctional homes...(Not all homes, but plenty....)  parents who agree it is wrong for their kid to drink in school, but asks that their child be the exception to the policy based consequence...  education is changing... those in education no longer teach reading writing and arithmetic... we teach kindness, compassion, hygiene, to live with integrity, to get help because the kids have responsibilities that are way too huge for them to bear, we teach organization, teach how to prioritize (Sorry parents, despite your push to allow your child to play sports, he/she is failing all of his/her classes because he/she isn't making any effort...and they need to work in class to play on the field) ... we teach about laws... no drinking or smoking until you are old enough... we teach about acting responsibly online...I am amazed at how few parents know what their kids are posting online... and who say, well it's her/his phone... I don't have the right to check that... so.. we teach parents to parent... often students put us in the parent role... the load gets heavier on educators... and public criticism gets higher... if only people really knew what kids are experiencing... OUTSIDE of school... held parents responsible for their behaviors and actually parented... maybe then teachers could go back to teaching content full time...


Disclaimer: there are AMAZING kids out there who come from dysfunctional homes... and AMAZING kids who come from stable homes... I am not saying all parents are in need of a good swift kick in the ass... but I am also saying many are! 

OMG OMG OMG

It is REALLY happening... the kayaking book!  Got word today that we will be receiving contracts from our publisher!  They say it is a 'solid project that we should pursue.'  OHHHHH YEAH!!  

One of my first thoughts after getting the email was... wow.. Mom would LOVE this... 

She has given me so many gifts... including my love of kayaking... and without her and her kayak this would never be happening... 

I think of her so often when I am paddling... knowing that she loved seeing the trees, plants, animals, and the skies... 

I love ya Mom... 

Still standing...

 I woke up today, knowing I had a 10k ahead of me... and felt pretty good... a little nervous, but was happy to be challenging myself... My morning glories were so bright and colorful and I decided it was a glorious morning... it had rained a bit early this morning and I was worried that the race would get rained on... but it didn't! 

I met Sara and Phil and Maria near back cove and Phil drove us up to the start line and dropped us off.. there were a lot people in the race...  Sara and Phil asked what my goal was... and I said to finish... and that I hoped to do so under two hours... and... hoped to not be last...

This was the view from the starting area... a bit ominous... which quickly cleared up into a sunny day with a perfect breeze... 

Our obligatory pre race selfie:

As the race started I knew I would be close to the end of the pack... it was cool to look ahead and see so many people doing this course... lots of walkers and runners...

I started out trying to listen to music through my amazon prime account but without wifi it was a struggle, so instead I listened to an audio book...   but after the first 3/4 of a mile or so a former co-worker and friend (current), Anton came up behind me.  Anton is VERY athletic... he bikes like crazy and is a runner... he could not run for months and wake up and decide to do a half marathon... he is THAT kind of athlete... he is a great person and I love hanging out with him.  He has recently had some injuries to his knee and he is not supposed to run, so he was walking this race as an experiment to see how he liked walking races... and he stayed with me the whole time... I am sure he could have gotten ahead, but it was so nice to have company... I think it also helped me keep a faster pace... we chatted the entire race.  When we reached mile 5 Sara  texted to see where I was and not knowing I had a walking partner she ran back form the finish line to find me and walked the last half mile or so with us.  It was nice to finish together!  (Even thoguh she had finished WAY earlier!) 

So, my goal was to finish under 2 hours... according to my watch I finished in about 1 hour 45 minutes... my official time was 1:47 minutes... 17:26 miles... not a fast pace, by any means, but I finished... and felt better than I expected... 

AND at the finish I ran into Jacey!!

I had no idea she was doing this race, but so cool to see her afterwards!  

We hung out for a while... this is a race that has beer and pizza at the end... ( am not a beer girl and didn't want pizza as we were heading elsewhere for lunch, but the vibe was still cool!  I may have gotten my beer allotment and shared... )  

Afterwards, Sara, Phil, Maria, and I went out to Portland Lobster Company for lunch.. what a PERFECT lunch spot for the last Sunday of summer ... it was great.. there was a great band playing and it was so nice. 

 I am a little stiff... and am sure I will be more stiff tomorrow... but I feel good... good that I was able to do this 'race'... the longest distance I have walked at one time in a very very long time... I looked back at my previous Trail to Ale times... one year I did 1 hour 39 minutes and one year I did 1 hour 45 minutes... both of those years were years I had been training to walk the half marathons... this year I have been walking more, but definitely had not done any training... so I feel good... It is good motivation to do more walking... (I will never be a runner!)  

Now.. I think it may be time for a nap!

A 10k...

Sooo.... in an effort to support Sara's effort to get in better shape and to keep her motivation going I agreed that I would do the Trail to Ale 10k run/walk which is TOMORROW!  When I signed up for it I had 6 weeks or so to really prepare... now.. for most people a 10 k (6.2 miles) is not necessarily something for which preparation is needed... but that is not the case for me... I walk about 5 miles a day... and those steps come in the form of about 2.5 miles of conscious walking time and the rest from walking around my building... so... doing a 10 k all at once is a little intimidating...  and I almost bailed... I told Phil at the beginning of the week that I was thinking about not doing it, but told him not to tell Sara... Most of the summer Sara and Melissa and I have been in a group text where we share with each other our activities and cheer each other on to be active and to feel good about all we are doing to be active... Sara had taken the lead in those conversations motivating me and Melissa to get moving...

Tuesday was supposed to be Open House at school... but we have been having some power issues that cause all the lights to go out...and in our building at night that would be very dangerous, so it was canceled... I had planned on walking back cove between school and open house, but once it was canceled I decided to go a different route.... it was so nice that I decided to go to the beach...

It was an amazing day to be on the beach... and when I got there, according to my fitbit I had already walked about 4 miles... so I decided that I needed to get over 6 miles... so that psychologically I would be in a place where I knew I could do that ... and it felt pretty good, so I decided I would do the 10k tomorrow... but man oh man... it is gonna be a mental battle, for sure! 

So.. I am going to listen to an audio book I have been listening to only when I walk... I figure tomorrows walk will give me a good chunk of time to listen to it...and if it doesn't keep me moving I have some music on my phone... the soundtracks to Avenue Q and Rent!!  Not necessarily most people's choice of motivational, get pumped up music, but... I'm a nerd. 

It will be good for me... to finish this 10k... to show myself I can do it... and to maybe motivate me to try to increase my daily step goal...(10,000 steps or about 5 miles) ... And... after a long work week, it will be good to have that time to think about things not related to work... (Some are aware of my crazy work week... stuff I cannot post publicly...but it is going to lead to a lot of long days I predict...

So.. wish me luck... and hope I make it to the end of the race still standing!

Moments of self control

Today had some frustrating moments... and at one point I was with the other AP and the principal and just needed to vent...  I LOVE my job.. but sometimes... I wish people would take initiative and think for themselves!!  Venting over... here is a story that is going to keep me laughing for a LONG time!

I was in a meeting with the other AP and a teacher interrupts to let us know there was a kid sitting in a classroom with a couple of swastikas drawn on his arms... we called the kid down and talk to him about it... the kid said he doesn't believe in what the symbol stands for... just watches a lot of films about nazis with his stepdad... (Yes... mentally noted!)  So as we talk to this kid it is pretty obvious to me that he has some special education needs... (my former special ed teacher coming through)..including a speech impediment... so as we are talking the other AP says to the kid, "Hey where are you from? You have a bit of an accent..."  I about died... I had to keep myself from laughing... the kid looked at him a little confused and said he was from the town in which we work... the other AP said, "Oh? Anything else, I really hear an accent."  The kid looked confused and said, "Well...I am British..."  And the other AP said, "Ohhh yeah.. I thought I was hearing a little British in there..." The kid just kind of looked at the floor with a confused look on his face... (seems like a sweet kid!)

After the kid left... I couldn't stand it and told the other AP that the kid was about as British as I was... and that the kid had a speech impediment!!  Oh my gosh... the other AP was adequately embarrassed and amused at his mistake... and we had a great laugh.... Maybe it is one of those moments you had to be there for.. but man oh man... it cracked me up and am chuckling as I think about it... This is gonna be one of those things we use as comic relief in other situations..

Nice Accent!  Man oh man! 

(In no way were we making fun of the kid... we were totally making fun of the other AP!) 

Lunch & holy shoes

So... last year...with a co assistant principal who was close to retirement... some of the rules/expectations got a bit lax... teachers stopped reporting some behaviors because they felt like nothing happened... they tried sending kids to me and because we divide and conquer by grade level, I felt awkward stepping in... but.. there is a new sheriff in town... my co AP, and it offers a great opportunity to restructure a few things and be consistent with the kids.. I believe that consistency is critical for kids, especially those in high school!  Phil and I are on the same page with things and it is helping already!  Another side effect of the other guy leaving is that kids who had a strong dislike for me because I held them accountable are approaching me with their problems because they figure the known (Me) is better than the unknown (Phil.)  I am willing to talk with any kid, but am making sure that the conversations include Phil... and making sure the kids know that he is their goto person... so far so good...

While we are cracking down on some things, like making sure kids are in classes (crazy idea, right?) there are some things that I feel we need to do differently... like Lunch...

For many kids lunch is their favorite time of day... food, friends, and access to cell phones and social media... but for others, lunch is the worst time of the day, the scariest... their social anxiety makes them avoid lunch at all costs.  Last year the cafeteria was a bit of a sieve... kids going everywhere... and it really wasn't ok... so we are starting the year with the expectation that kids all eat in the cafeteria unless they need to see a teacher for an academic reason... But... there are kids who will avoid the cafeteria at all costs... kids who are not bad kids, but who just cannot face 300 other kids... as a result, kids are not eating lunch... not okay with me..

This has been an issue that we have tried addressing the last couple of years... I started a 'Quiet Lunch' area available to students... we used to have a great situation, a smaller area above a much larger one... and we allowed certain kids to escape the loud crowded cafeteria to the smaller area... it worked great... now, however, that option is no longer available... so I tried having a designated classroom, with an assigned teacher, for quiet lunch... that worked... kind of... but there were lunches where no kids would attend quiet lunch... leaving a teacher, outside of their own classroom, alone for 25 minutes with no students to supervise... and the available room was far from the cafeteria...

This year.. I want to push some people on this issue... I figure that these kids who are struggling with anxiety would benefit from time with someone/some people who have skills in helping kids overcome such anxiety... so.. I want to have the kids eat in guidance... there are 6 adults there during the lunch block... and  space for up to 10 kids in each lunch... I think it makes so much sense... but there are some... political issues that will need to be resolved... this may be a hill on which I am prepared to die... (in education we often ask ourselves is that issue a 'hill we want to die on?'  is it an issue that is big enough to put yourself on the line for?  I think this one is...  I planted some seeds today... we shall see if they get watered...

I am meeting new students... and am enjoying it... the freshmen are so different than the seniors who just graduated... and for the most part, are still enchanted by the high school... (I should hope so on day 5 of classes for them!)  Today I called about 15 kids down just to introduce myself (kids who have been identified by someone as being at risk).  I want kids to come to me and don't want them to think being called ot my office means they are in trouble...

In other news... I am working to be more active... school starting has helped that.  My goal is to do 10,000 steps a day, about 5 miles.  I have returned to doing my morning walks at school... daily for a half hour with some of my staff... on average, we are walking about 1.3 miles in that time... so, by the time I get to the lunch block, I am typically close to or just over halfway to my goal... so by the time I end my day I am so close to my goal that I feel like a lazy ass if I don't finish... today I was at 8600 steps (I am using a fitbit to track my steps.  Fitbit is a fancy pedometer I wear on my wrist, like a bracelet) so... I couldn't not walk when I got home.  It is gratifying to have my fitbit vibrate letting me know I met my goal!  I am also working on eating every day... and so far so good.  I am working hard to keep my energy up during the day and trying not to binge when I get home. 

This week is gonna be a long one... tomorrow night is open house... Wednesday I am going to a community dinner in a lower socioeconomic part of town where I did office hours last year.  I am hoping to get more parents to meet with me on a regular basis, but we shall see... then Thursday some students are going stargazing for part of their earth science classes... it would be nice to make an appearance...

My favorite moment of today... was... talking with a student we have who is new to us... technically homeless...(Couch surfing at this point.)  ... and I asked him if there was anything he needed.. he said no... I had to meet with him again later and after our second conversation (about his school ipad)  he started to leave, paused and turned back to me and asked if I was serious about asking him if he needed anything... I said of course... and he said he could use some shampoo, deodorant, and body wash... and... if I knew of any slightly used shoes... that would help, since his had some impending holes in them... Happy that he asked for help... and love that my staff has already responded to my email about needing some shoes for this kid!  (Teachers in the media are portrayed as people who take summers off and complain about their pay... I see teachers as people who are so giving and willing to help our kids... always ready to help!) 

Community

Four years ago I started my new job... and while this is year four it still feels new... though I am now the administrator in our building that has been there the longest... the principal came a year after I did and the other assistant principal, with whom I worked for these last three years retired...and we have a new guy on board... (A GREAT new guy... Phil, yes the Phil of Phil and Sara, who are some of my best friends!) ... so I am not longer the newbie, but I know I still have a lot to learn...

I reflected on this being my fourth year on Friday night as I was attending our first home football game of the season.  I remember four years ago, showing up at that first game and being nervous... would the people at the ticket booth know who I was or not, how would I just walk through the ticket gate without paying and how exactly does one do crowd control at an event like that? Those were things I thought about at that time... Fast forward four years and I know the boosters working in the ticket booth, recognize many of the parents and community members who are in attendance, and look forward to cheering with the kids in the student section as we watch out team compete. 

Last night, as it worked out... combined my current job with my previous one... a student from my old school has transferred to my new school... I knew him a bit as a student, but had a stronger connection with his older siblings.  His family moved to Maine from Africa 15 years ago... there are three older siblings that I know, and it's possible there are a couple more with whom I am unfamiliar...  I saw this student a couple of weeks ago in my school and it took a minute to register that this was a kid I already knew... he was with his father and when his dad saw me, he was so happy.  I got a hug and when he learned I was the assistant principal he was so pleased.  He said he was so happy for me and was glad I would be there to keep an eye on his son as I had with his other sons... that was nice...  So, at the game last night the parents arrived and the father brought his wife over to see me and she gave me a huge hug and said she was so happy to hear I was there.  They both talked about how proud they are of me and how wonderful it is that I have this new position...they describe it as powerful...but that is their word... I chatted with them and shared some laughter about a crazy church experience (where I went to his church, he is a minister, after he had hounded me to do so... and I agreed to go but explained my faith in god was nonexistent at that time and told him I would come to observe to see if it was a place I wanted to go and specifically asked him to let me blend in with the crowd... well a six foot six white woman did not blend in well in a tiny church filled with African immigrants... and this minister/father of my students called me to the front of his church to introduce me... he did so as someone he respected and appreciated for the work I did with his kids... and proceeded to tell the church of my struggle with faith especially since the death of my mother and asked the 'brothers' of the church to surround me with love and light and help me find my shepherd!!! And asked me to be baptized with them at their next service....ummmm... Needless to say being hugged by a group of men was not what I had anticipated for my first experience at his church and I was not happy about it... for being so publicly addressed...and had told him that after the fact.....in hindsight it is funny.. but at the time not so much!)  they then told me at the time,  he and his kids had told one of the 'brothers' I was coming and had told him I was his future fiance because he is taller than me and well, in their culture, a tall, large woman, is apparently well sought after ....and  after telling him there is still no ring on my finger  and more laughter they went off to find their seats... they told me their other kids would be arriving later and I was excited to see them.

I soon positioned myself on the bleachers in front of the student section and chatted with some of the kids.  Many parents came by and one put her hand on my shoulder and told me how much I rocked as I was laughing with the kids... Then the other assistant principal arrived and then the principal... and the game began... (we had a nice 9-11 tribute before the game... and yes, I got a little misty eyed! Always do!) Not long into the game two of the other kids from this family from my old school arrived... one of them, their daughter, I hardly knew... the other, now 21!!!  (I had him when he was in grades 6-8!) I knew very well.  I was so happy to see him, and he seemed to feel the same.  He gave me a big hug, no longer that little middle schooler, but still had his contagious smile and laugh and we chatted for a while... he said when he heard I was the AP at this school he said he thought that it would be a great job for me, explaining that as a teacher kids knew clearly what I expected of them and didn't want to mess with me, but also loved coming to my classes... so he said he figures I would be good for that kind of a job.  I thought that was sweet.  He struggled with learning, but he never complained about it, and always worked hard... he is now finishing his associates degree with plans to get his bachelor's soon... he said, "I'm still slow at school, but I get it done."  I told him I was so proud of him... I am so incredibly proud.  His work ethic was always strong... and his value for education has always been high... I asked him if he remembered the time, when he was a sixth grader...and we, along with 5 or 6 other kids, were in a small work room and the other kids had complained about different things like not having an eraser, or about the scratch paper being ripped too easily, or about the work being hard and he stopped working and put his pencil quietly on the table and just looked around the room and a tear rolled slowly down his very round face... When I asked him what was wrong the other students stopped working and looked at him... he took a breath and said to them something about how it made him sad to hear them complain about things for which he was grateful... he said that he came from a country that didn't have schools...let alone paper and pencils... he said that these kids were in a school where they can get a drink whenever they wanted to and he remembered being 3 or 4 years old and drinking from a mud puddle because they didn't have any other sources of water when he was in Africa... I remember how humbled the other students were... how none of them used that as a way to make fun of him (though many middle schoolers could)...ow they respected him more... and I remember the lump in my throat... and how it took me a minute to compose myself and thank him for sharing that with us... he nodded at me and picked up his pencil and continued working... It was a powerful moment for me in teaching... to see a student appreciate and value education so much...  When I talked to him about that last night, he didn't remember that exact moment... but he said he remembers being frustrated with kids who complained... and said that he knew he had to work harder but never complained because he was so thankful for the chance to learn.  I am so so proud of him!!!  Not long after that another of his siblings arrived, the oldest brother, who I coached in track.  He saw me and again I got a huge hug!  I called him Superman, his nickname in track, and he could not believe I remembered that. 

It was so cool to have the moments of reconnecting with former students and parents in between moments of connecting with my current students and families... That family made me realize how connected i had become in that community, the one I chose to leave four years ago... and made me realize that it has taken time, but I am, now, a part of this community... and those connections are growing deeper and wider... and I love that. 

This was our first week with kids and that game was a great way for it to end.  (Our team won, by the way, but that was definitely not the highlight of my night!) 

Not Looking For Greener Grass

Welcome to my new blog!  It was time to move away from my old blog and into something different.  I am hoping this is a place where I can share more stories about home and work without worrying about it being so public.  Unlike my other blogs, I did not set this up as something that would be easily found when people are searching google or other search engines.  I have given this blog address to only a few people... the loyalist of loyal blog buddies who seemed to, for whatever reasons, enjoy reading my posts. 

The majority of people who read my posts are people who I have regular contact with, but some are further away and this is a way for me to share a bit about what's going on in my life without putting too much on facebook.  For those who are interested and follow, I am not sure if I will keep you as an audience, but enjoyed hearing from you when something I have posted in the past resonated with you... so look forward to that kind of interaction here. 

Some of the posts I enjoyed writing most were those that were about my job... as you know I take a lot of pride in what I do and how I do it... and do believe that I make a difference, even if those differences are small... and writing about them helps me clear my head and remind me of what lessons I learn from those experiences.  I felt that having a blog that was a bit more private would make me feel safer about sharing those stories. 

I have missed writing in the way that a blog allows me to do, and look forward to having this as a new place to do that. 

As always, I do not want people to feel obligated to follow this blog or read the posts.... it is, after all, a place for me to write and get things out of my head... but in the process maybe people get a chance to have more insight into what I do and why I love it...

The old blog has been posted for a long time... during that time many things happened... traumatic things, including losing Mom... the blog was a place for me to articulate some of my emotions, which as most of you know, were very raw... Mom's death was not long after her mother's death, which almost immediately followed my major knee surgery.... and spanned through the years of losing my other grandmother, gaining a wonderful 'step-mother' and wonderful 'stepsister'... and through getting my amazing job and buying my INCREDIBLE home... I feel that my old blog covered the darkest times in my life and now I feel like I am in one of the brightest... and with that, is need for change, for me, in the blog venue at least...

So the blog address NotLookingForGreenerGrass... well, that's because I am happy with where my life is... and I am not looking for greener grass... I am appreciating my own lawn... even if I depend on my amazing neighbor to mow it!  

So, welcome.  Stay as long as you like.... And... Thank you for being in my life.