Superballs + teenagers = Shenanigans

It has been a CRAZY couple of weeks...
I was talking with the other AP this weekend and both agree that our teachers have no idea what we deal with in our offices... so when they send us an email about wanting us to have a stern conversation with a kid who, in a physics lab using super balls, dropped one of said super balls from the top of the main stairwell all the way to the bottom... the teacher wanted me to address the kid... my response to the teacher was:   after you have a conversation with the kid about your concern of potentially hurting someone who was on the first floor, and the kid doesn't seem to recognize that someone could have been injured, to let me know and I will follow up... and p.s. teacher... why did you give the superballs to the students before going over your expectations of their behavior including safety risks.? ..  They are  teenagers after all... teenagers + superballs = shenanigans... (at least in most people's minds...) ... when I received that email I was in the midst of investigating a fight... our first of the year... which came on the heels of searching a student for weapons after seeing texts he had sent to people about doing harm to himself with a weapon, as well as searching another kid for possible drugs... which followed a day of investigating minors in possession of alcohol... oh and the day where we learned one student had been threatened by an adult who held a knife to her face, twice...and another shared a parent is shooting heroine in their basement... and having learned that a student drive drunk with other kids in the car... and learning about hazing and drug use by athletes...and bringing food in for kids who are currently couch surfing...and finding clothing and shoes for others....and coordinating with custodial staff to have them work with the kid who punched holes in our wall when he was angry, but feels so bad about it he wants to fix the holes himself...   So...the good news, I suppose, is that teachers take the issues that are happening in their classrooms seriously and want us to be aware of concerns... more good news is that our teachers are protected from knowing all of the details of things that are happening to our students that would maybe result in them losing some sleep... but I think that is about to change... The other AP and I decided that we are going to address the staff at the next meeting... thank them for the great job they are doing at handling things at the classroom level.  (They are doing a great job at this.. we have changed some of our expectations this year and teachers are on board and are dealing with things before automatically sending them to us... I believe that having teachers talk to kids about the behavioral concerns, when minor, helps the teacher build relationships with their students...)  And let them know that taking care of things at the classroom level allows us to focus on things like kids experiencing violence at home, seeing drugs being used at home, kids experimenting with or abusing substances, etc... and I think we will share some of the details with them... not to upset them or to tell them what it is we spend our days doing... but to help them have some empathy and compassion for kids in their classrooms... to try to have them talk with kids who are unfocused in class, disengaged, and who may miss a class or two... to understand where the kids are coming from... so that when that student arrives late to class, the teacher will offer a welcoming smile and will work with the kid to catch up instead of scowling and making non verbal accusations about kids being disrespectful and having no regard for the teacher's precious time... the truth is, these kids who have such crazy things happening outside of school... appreciate,  more than other kids, having a place where there is structure and predictability... even if it is a place where they sit and stare off into space trying to escape...
There are reasons for behaviors... that is something we are trying to get teachers to be more mindful of... and MOST teachers understand that kids are not intentionally being rude... but there are other teachers who see a kid in the hallway and immediately start making accusations about the kid skipping class and showing their level of authority over that kid... I hope our staff can get to the point where, when seeing a kid in the hallway can introduce themselves to the kid, ask the kids name, and ask if they are okay... if they need help... and coach the kid to go back to class or to go see someone who can offer support... instead of telling the kid they are gonna get detention for skipping class, say to the kid, let's go take a walk, let's go see your assistant principal, tell them what is going on so that they know you are not skipping class, but are needing some support...
Idealistic? Maybe... but what a difference that approach can make with kids...
I am guilty, with some kids, of jumping to conclusions... kids who are repeat offenders for being up to no good... and I apologize when I make that mistake... we have work to do... and that work is not just with academic content... that work involves showing our kids, teaching our kids, that adults are not out to get them, that we are there to help... while having clear expectations... (I am known as a bit of a hard ass with the kids, but they also know that I am only a hard ass when chances have been given and not taken... when kids make choices again and again that are not above the line...)  ... but I think the relationships kids have with adults can make or break some kids... those kids especially, who are dealing with so much crap outside of school...
I was so lucky... that home was a safe place to be... that I could trust my parents to keep us safe...and to stand up for us when needed... that there wasn't addictions or violence... That I was loved... unconditionally... that I had food and clothing... and was able to bathe and have clean clothes...

The media talks a lot about how education is changing... moving towards proficiency based grading systems... towards teacher salaries being based on student performance... about educators who work short days and have summers off.... I agree, education is changing.  More and more schools are responsible to raise our children... because so many of our kids come from highly dysfunctional homes...(Not all homes, but plenty....)  parents who agree it is wrong for their kid to drink in school, but asks that their child be the exception to the policy based consequence...  education is changing... those in education no longer teach reading writing and arithmetic... we teach kindness, compassion, hygiene, to live with integrity, to get help because the kids have responsibilities that are way too huge for them to bear, we teach organization, teach how to prioritize (Sorry parents, despite your push to allow your child to play sports, he/she is failing all of his/her classes because he/she isn't making any effort...and they need to work in class to play on the field) ... we teach about laws... no drinking or smoking until you are old enough... we teach about acting responsibly online...I am amazed at how few parents know what their kids are posting online... and who say, well it's her/his phone... I don't have the right to check that... so.. we teach parents to parent... often students put us in the parent role... the load gets heavier on educators... and public criticism gets higher... if only people really knew what kids are experiencing... OUTSIDE of school... held parents responsible for their behaviors and actually parented... maybe then teachers could go back to teaching content full time...


Disclaimer: there are AMAZING kids out there who come from dysfunctional homes... and AMAZING kids who come from stable homes... I am not saying all parents are in need of a good swift kick in the ass... but I am also saying many are!