1/100

Weight is something that people view differently...handle differently... and approach differently... it's something my mother battled...probably daily... at least until the end of her life... I remember she told me to not worry about what I ate, about my weight...because life is too short... it was one of the many topics we talked about towards the end of her life. 

She battled her weight for as long as she could remember...sharing that one of her first memories in which she felt body conscious was when her mother told her that something she was wearing made her look like the broad side of a barn... she vowed, when she had kids, that we would not be told we were fat, or that something made us look big... that we would not be told what we could and could not eat...   and I think Mom stayed true to that... no matter the consequence...

As women we all remember things growing up, things that made us aware of our bodies and how they compared to those around us... I have always been the 'big girl.'  Whether it was the refs in the basketball games, men who saw me when I was walking the mall with my friends, or pretty much any stranger with whom I came into contact... I was the big girl...

My parents are/were big people... so they knew, when I was born at almost two feet long (23"...not kidding) and over ten pounds, that I too would be big... They worked hard, as I have shared before, to make sure I was confident... and I think, for the most part I have lived my life with confidence... in most areas at least. 

While I knew I was bigger, height and weight wise, than all my friends... it didn't bother me that much... I was so significantly taller than all of my peers that it made sense that I was bigger... so not being able to share clothes with my friends didn't seem like a big deal...

As an adult... I have always been overweight... there was a period of time when I had lost a lot of weight and I felt great... I was smaller than I was in high school... and had worked hard to get there.  It was at a time when my mom and sister were also working to be healthy and the three of us were killing it! 

Then I had all my knee stuff.. and in the three years it took to diagnose me properly I gained all the weight back, plus some... then knee surgery yada yada yada... and I have had some weight loss, but it always finds me again... and in the last couple of years, with my focus being on the book... I had a great excuse to not make my weight... a priority... but... that needs to change.  I am not healthy... well not as healthy as I need to be.  So... today I try to start again.. with being healthier... and am once again taking the one hundred day challenge... 100 days in a row in which I am active for 30 minutes... exercise for 30 minutes... it can be walking, or weight/resistance training...anything really that involves moving my body for 30 minutes...

So today I went to the gym... which was easy because it was a snow day and I didn't have to work.  It will be harder when I have to work... But.. I want to do this, need to do this... the last time I did the 100 day challenge and really stuck with it.. I lost 60 lbs... that would be great... because 100 days from today is March 21... which puts us in spring...when book signings will be popping up... and I want to feel good at those events...

So... I am 1/100 of the way to this goal...

hoping it is the beginning of some needed changes...